by Jessie Cooper | Jun 17, 2021
At this point in my writing, I’m pretty sure that my readers are aware I’m a Brene Brown junkie. Glennon Doyle is becoming a close second. I quote Brene often and today is no different. Brene often writes about how some of the kindest and most compassionate people have the strongest boundaries. I got a little piece of advice from her work that I’ve been trying to hone since I read it; “don’t puff up, don’t shrink down, stand your sacred ground.”
Let’s dig in.
Learning Where the Ground Is
As a business owner, I have worked with a lot of people over the years. It’s taken me almost a decade to build a team and business that is reflective of my vision. My company isn’t perfect by any means but it is an honest place to work and truly wants what is best for each life that comes to it. Creating the team and company I have today is a story for another time but it is where I first used the “stand your sacred ground” advice.
I was a young business owner and fully passionate woman, who opened this big heart of mine and let pretty much everyone in during the first several years of business. I thought everyone had good intentions in the workplace and was genuinely proud of the work they did. I was taken advantage of both by employees and clients in the early years. A lot.
Employees would overpromise and underdeliver. Clients would not pay their bills or follow treatment guidelines. The combination of these two things had me spinning. And when I spin, to this day, I have two go-to reactions:
- Get extremely anxious and overtalk my problems with my tribe then create chaos around the problem or
- Lash out.
This cycle is miserable for me and everyone around me. This is also where the “sacred ground” phrase began to help.
Self-Care, Sacred Ground
Several years ago I would see that I was spiraling into my pattern of shrinking down with anxiety. I decided to start inserting self-care practices to stand my sacred ground. This is where I first found some of my boundaries and that these boundaries are kind. It’s also where I first experienced that even when you are setting a boundary that is kind and right for you others may not see it that way. The self-care I created was often to emotionally recharge myself after a person lashed out, ignoring a boundary I had set. Other people’s discomfort is uncomfortable to me!
In my personal life, this ‘recipe of authenticity,’ if you will, is much harder to navigate. In the work world, for whatever reason, I’m able to shut out how others perceive me when I stand my sacred ground. I still feel for them when my boundaries cause discomfort, but I don’t absorb it as my own emotion. Personally, it’s incredibly difficult for me to not absorb others’ emotions as I set boundaries. It can even be painful to lose those I love if a boundary I set means we cannot be in a relationship anymore.
In staying true to myself and my vision of kindness I have to hold myself accountable to the boundaries that support my values. In staying safe as a trauma survivor, I know that holding boundaries can literally be life-saving. It’s also incredibly hard even though I wish it weren’t so. By standing my sacred ground I am asking that others in my life honor my person, my needs, and my heart. I also firmly hold a boundary that I will not be in relationships with anyone who stands actively or ideally by abusive behavior.
Reading this may make standing your sacred ground sound simple. I assure you, it’s not. I do not live in a vacuum and neither do you. The unfortunate truth is that abusive behavior is rampant in our society with subgroup after subgroup rationalizing it. As I clawed my way out of a cycle of abuse this fall I didn’t have my sacred ground firmly in place. I barely had myself. Today, I have my true self again but it was a struggle to find the foundation for my sacred ground. I was terrified of who I would lose. I should have been looking at all that I could gain.
Standing on Sacred Ground
My sacred ground has saved my life, yet the lesson to get here was steep. I’m still working on this, unpacking how to stand my ground without becoming anxious. But this I know to be true; your sacred ground is sacred to you. You are allowed to ask for what you want and need. What you want and need should not take from others and instead should propel you forward into the truest version of yourself. And the truest version of yourself isn’t built on the backs of others.
We are all the same. Wishing and hoping for the best life possible for ourselves and our families. Baby, it’s in here, in your beautiful heart, the life you want and deserve. If those around you cannot honor your heart, your spirit, and your desires, it’s OK to say goodbye. If those around you do not respect your safety, you must say goodbye no matter how painful it may be. You need not shrink down, you need not puff up, your sacred ground is waiting to welcome you home to a life beyond your wildest dreams.
May all people be happy, safe, and free.
Xoxo,
Jessie
by IABA Team | Jun 15, 2021
What is Applied Behavior Analysis? Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is a therapy based on the science of learning and behavior.
Behavior analysis helps us to understand:
- How behavior works
- How behavior is affected by the environment
- How learning takes place
ABA therapy applies our understanding of how behavior works to real situations. The goal is to increase behaviors that are helpful and decrease behaviors that are harmful or affect learning.
What Does ABA Therapy Help With?
- Increase language and communication skills
- Improve attention, focus, social skills, memory, and academics
- Decrease problem behaviors
The methods of behavior analysis have been used and studied for decades. They have helped many kinds of learners gain different skills – from healthier lifestyles to learning a new language. Therapists have used ABA to help children with autism and related developmental disorders since the 1960s.
How Does ABA Therapy Work?
Applied Behavior Analysis involves many techniques for understanding and changing behavior. ABA is a flexible treatment:
- Can be adapted to meet the needs of each unique person
- Provided in many different locations – at home, at school, and in the community
- Teaches skills that are useful in everyday life
- Can involve one-to-one teaching or group instruction
Positive Reinforcement & ABA Therapy
Positive reinforcement is one of the main strategies used in ABA. When a behavior is followed by something that is valued (a reward), a person is more likely to repeat that behavior. Over time, this encourages positive behavior change.
First, the therapist identifies a goal behavior. Each time the person uses the behavior or skill successfully, they get a reward. The reward is meaningful to the individual – examples include praise, a toy or book, watching a video, access to a playground or other location, and more.
Positive rewards encourage the person to continue using the skill. Over time this leads to meaningful behavior change.
Antecedent – Behavior – Consequence
Understanding antecedents (what happens before a behavior occurs) and consequences (what happens after the behavior) is another important part of any ABA program.
The following three steps – the “A-B-Cs” – help us teach and understand behavior:
- An antecedent: this is what occurs right before the target behavior. It can be verbal, such as a command or request. It can also be physical, such a toy or object, or a light, sound, or something else in the environment. An antecedent may come from the environment, from another person, or be internal (such as a thought or feeling).
- A resulting behavior: this is the person’s response or lack of response to the antecedent. It can be an action, a verbal response, or something else.
- A consequence: this is what comes directly after the behavior. It can include positive reinforcement of the desired behavior or no reaction for incorrect/inappropriate responses.
How ABA ABCs Help
How different consequences could affect whether the behavior is likely to happen again
EXAMPLE:
Antecedent: The teacher says “It’s time to clean up your toys” at the end of the day.
Behavior: The student yells “no!”
Consequence: The teacher removes the toys and says “Okay, toys are all done.”
How could ABA help the student learn a more appropriate behavior in this situation?
Antecedent: The teacher says “time to clean up” at the end of the day.
Behavior: The student is reminded to ask, “Can I have 5 more minutes?”
Consequence: The teacher says, “Of course you can have 5 more minutes!”
With continued practice, the student will be able to replace the inappropriate behavior with one that is more helpful. This is an easier way for the student to get what she needs!
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment with ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
Sources
Autism Speaks ABA Primer
by IABA Team | Jun 10, 2021
Deciding to objectively look at your child for signs of autism is hard. Thinking about your child possibly needing alternate care or schooling when that child is still a baby was not what you signed up for. But detecting early signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and seeking a professional diagnosis is the best way to make sure your child lives a productive and happy life.
Early signs of ASD are not easy to detect and you should always seek a professional opinion with your observations and concerns. It is not possible to diagnose your own child with ASD from reading online tests, blogs, or watching videos. The purpose of this blog is what to look for that could potentially be a valid concern for your child.
Many early signs of ASD can be confused with normal developmental behavior. All children develop at different rates. There are some behaviors that may be valid reasons for raising concern. Let’s take a look at what to look for (and what not to look for) when it comes to your infant or young child and ASD.
What are the Warning Signs of ASD in Young Children and Infants?
There are several marker behaviors that parents should take into account when observing their infant or young child developing. Again, note that none of these behaviors means your child has ASD. These are simply behaviors that are commonly associated with ASD if they persist.
The behaviors listed are from the CDC and Autism Awareness Center.
Infant Behavior Markers (up to 12 months)
- Does not make or maintain eye contact
- Lack of facial expressions (never smiles or frowns)
- Does not respond to their name by 9 months
- Uses few or no gestures
- Does not respond to verbal cues or ‘games’
- Lack of attempts at verbal communication
Young Child Behavior Markers (up to 24 months)
- Does not share interests, such as found objects or toys by 15 months
- No pointing to indicate things by 18 months
- Lack of empathy (recognizing others are happy or sad) by 24 months
- Delayed language, motor, or cognitive skills
- Interested primarily in objects and not people
- Gets upset by minor changes
- Has unusual or extreme reactions to sensory experiences (touch, taste, smell)
Other Potential Early ASD Markers
The CDC lists the following as other marker behaviors commonly exhibited by those with ASD:
- Preterm births or low birth weight
- Environmental exposure to hazards like lead paint
- Hyperactive, impulsive, and/or inattentive behavior
- Epilepsy or seizure disorder
- Unusual eating and sleeping habits
- Gastrointestinal issues (e.g., constipation)
- Unusual mood or emotional reactions
- Anxiety, stress, or excessive worry
- Lack of fear or more fear than expected
Remember, all of the above behaviors and characteristics are just general markers. Some children who get diagnosed with ASD won’t exhibit any of the signs listed above. Always speak to a medical professional when you are unsure of what to be concerned about.
When do the Signs of ASD Start to Show?
Autism Spectrum Disorder is hard to diagnose, as there are no medical tests that reveal it. Diagnoses are made from testing conducted by medical professionals based on behaviors, developmental milestones, and other specific criteria.
With that said, warning signs of ASD can begin to manifest as early as 9 months of age. These are warning signs, not a diagnosis, however, and need to be monitored. Keeping an eye on specific behaviors and conferring with a professional is the first step if you notice one or more marker behaviors that don’t go away as the child gets older.
The CDC notes that “ASD can sometimes be detected by 18 months or younger,” but that 24 months is the age where “a diagnosis by an experienced professional can be considered very reliable.”
When Should I Seek a Professional Opinion?
The best way to seek a professional opinion is by getting one directly from your child’s pediatrician. Pediatricians can help with screening and recommendations. Sometimes developmental disorders and signs of ASD are part of a regular wellness visit for your child. Talk to your pediatrician about specifics if you have questions or concerns.
ASD screening is recommended by many pediatricians at specific developmental intervals. If your child’s pediatrician doesn’t mention an ASD screening at a wellness visit and you have concerns, ask them about it.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends developmental screening for all children at doctor wellness visits at 9 months, 18 months, and 36 months of age. The AAP also strongly recommends screening specifically for signs of ASD at 18 months and 24 months.
If your child’s pediatrician believes that your child is at risk for ASD, there are two paths you can take for a formal diagnosis and care plan: private evaluations & interventions and state-sponsored early intervention programs.
What is a Private Evaluation?
Private simply refers to private pay i.e. paid for out-of-pocket or covered by an insurance company. These evaluations allow parents to select a care program of their choice to help evaluate their child.
Private evaluations are in-depth looks at a child’s development. These evaluations are handled by a licensed medical professional like a child psychologist, speech-language pathologist, occupational therapist, developmental pediatrician, or another specialized professional
These evaluations screen your child, analyze the data, determine whether or not the child needs specialized care, and then help develop a course of action. Keep in mind that private-pay evaluations may not be covered by your insurance and can cost lots of money out-of-pocket.
If you don’t have insurance or can’t afford out-of-pocket expenses for a private ASD screening/evaluation, you should look at your state’s Early Intervention program.
What is an ASD Early Intervention?
For those who cannot take on the financial burden or private ASD testing and screening, Early Intervention (EI) programs are available from individual states. These programs help families with children under 3 years of age get screened and will create a care plan if necessary. States are required by the federal government to provide several services free of charge.
If a screening or concern from your child’s pediatrician notes several at-risk behaviors, you may be encouraged to start an EI. Early intervention screenings do not require a formal diagnosis and are conducted by federal EI specialists.
The EI specialists will determine whether or not your child requires more comprehensive care. EI specialists will recommend the type of care they believe will be the most beneficial for your child.
What Should I Do If My Young Child is Diagnosed with ASD?
Both of the paths to getting a legitimate ADS screening or evaluation listed above will provide you with a care plan. Following this care plan will get you started on helping your child get the services they need to flourish.
After an ASD diagnosis, children are commonly referred to work with one of the following types of professionals:
- Psychologists
- Behavioral Analysts
- Developmental Therapists
- Social Workers
- Speech Therapists
- Occupational Therapists
- Physical Therapists
This is not a comprehensive list, it is simply to give you an idea of where your child may start in their developmental journey.
On top of your child receiving special care you, as a parent, will need to learn how to best help your child grow and develop. Talk to your child’s healthcare professional to learn what you can do to best provide the things they need most to grow.
Being active and supportive in your child’s development will help greatly in their development. Therapy for ASD shouldn’t stop when a clinic or class ends–parents should be aware of their child’s interests, behaviors, and moods to help them develop all the time.
Asking your child’s healthcare provider for information on how to learn more is the best next step you, as a parent, can take. Learn, teach, and do what you can to make sure your child grows up in a loving environment.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment with ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
Sources
CDC Signs & Symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorders
by Jessie Cooper | Jun 9, 2021
Last week I wrote to you about a new writer coming on to IABA to bring you content about autism and parenting. I wanted to let you know that my blogs have become my sacred space and I want to keep writing for me, hoping it serves you too. I believe my readers to be those who are looking to embrace their hearts and live their lives unapologetically and full of joy. I believe my readers are willing to look at pain, fear, shame, and guilt, and walk through it to bring understanding and shed light on what doesn’t serve them. This is hard as hell. It’s also totally worth it.
This week I want to write about my hope for you and me; our tribe. You see, my hope feels simple, yet I have felt damned from the time I was able to see it burning in my heart all those decades ago. I read a book to my boys recently titled “What Do You With An Idea?” In the book, a little boy keeps seeing an idea. The idea follows the boy and he ignores it. The boy is scared that other people will make fun of him for having this idea but the idea won’t go away. Eventually, the boy declares, “So what! This is my idea,” and goes on to learn that if you take care of your idea you can change the world.
I am not so bold to think that I can change the world with an idea but I am hopeful the world can change with collective ideas and actions. That we can all be as brave as the little boy in the story and honor ourselves and our ideas. Here is mine.
Choosing Kindness First
The hope and idea I have been living my entire life with is that humans can choose kindness first for themselves, then show it to others. That’s it. That’s my idea. I told you it feels simple, yet it ripped me apart for as long as I tried to embrace it. You see, I had a misconception of kindness and compassion because the world was telling me I was wrong. The world was defining what kindness looks like for a woman. Let me tell you what I was told. If you are a woman, maybe it even sounds familiar.
Kindness is noticing the needs of others. A good woman attends to the needs of others. Kindness is being polite. Do not speak in a harsh tone, raise your voice, swear, or insert your opinion where it may offend or even inconvenience others. Kindness is conforming; you do not want to make other people uncomfortable. Keep your appearance and demeanor in a way that does not offend. Kindness is being a polite little girl who grows up to be a good wife. A kind wife always listens to her husband. Men are, of course, here to protect us.
Fuck all that.
I read a book, “Brave, Not Perfect,” by Reshma Saujani, that talks extensively about the way in which society has indoctrinated women to be submissive. I shudder as I write the word ‘submissive.’ Ask my parents if they can put the word submissive and Jessie in a sentence. Nope. Not possible. Even though the US and many other countries have come a long way in some aspects, in many others it has not. We are still working against the narrative set by our white male forefathers over 200 years ago.
Shaping Our Future
Think about it. We have an entire political system that works on making amendments to words written exclusively by white men almost 250 years ago. While I would like to believe that there will be an awakening of some sort and that we are shifting toward a future for all, it’s not always easy to feel that way. When the pandemic hit and the tragedies in the black community came to our social forefront I thought to myself, “this is it, this is the bottom, people will wake up.” Some did. Some are using kindness and love to catapult us into a new future. Others continue to bring hate.
In speaking of my dream of kindness for all, the only perspectives I can write from are as a white woman and a mother in the US. I dare not and will not take the voice of the black community, LGBTQ, immigrants, or even men. I have not walked in their shoes and do not know what they were told to conform to or what they have experienced. But this I know to be true: every human being is born with the same worth. Let me say it again; baby, you are born worthy, you do not have to earn it.
As a woman, I tried desperately to earn value by following social norms while trying to fight these same norms. In my mind, I would stand bravely and push through a norm. Then I would fall back into shame. This constant push and pull was taking my life. This is how domestic violence overcame me.
Recognizing Abuse and Domestic Violence
Many people think that as a strong woman it’s not possible to experience, let alone live with, domestic violence and abuse. There is no way a strong or successful woman can live with abuse. I wish this was the case for me, but the truth is that at 34 years old I’m living without abuse in my life for the first time. Yes, I was strong and successful, but I also wanted to be kind and believe others were kind. That everyone is always kind at heart, even if they don’t show it. That when someone was abusing me they just needed a little more love to become the kind person they were born as. This would eventually spiral into, “why don’t they love me enough to stop!” Then I would get stuck. My version of kindness was killing me. Is it killing you?
In leaving domestic violence behind and working with an incredible trauma therapist, as well as having a loving support system, I am learning to apply my first belief about kindness; be kind to myself. This type of kindness takes from no one and offers a warm love to my soul that I’ve needed since the birth of my idea. I believe that if we are not kind to ourselves, which includes looking at ourselves (both the good and the bad), we cannot be kind to others. So I’m looking at myself and I’m asking myself to shed the narrative of kindness as submissive to become the woman I was born to be.
Cut the Noise Out
The world is a noisy place. When you stand up for yourself and what you need, remember that the crowd in the stands gets loud. You must be willing to block out the noise of the crowd to win the battle of your life. The battle to live free and unapologetically as yourself.
There is work to be done, systems that must fall, and people you must be ready to say goodbye to. We need to cut the noise out. But if you follow your heart home to yourself perhaps someday you’ll stand beside me in the ring. Perhaps we’ll build a kind world together.
Miracles and seen in the light, light and strength are one.
Xoxo,
Jessie
by IABA Team | Jun 8, 2021
Applied behavior analysis (ABA) is often described as the “gold standard” for autism treatment. Applied behavior analysis is a system of autism treatment based on behaviorist theories which, simply put, state that desired behaviors can be taught through a system of rewards and consequences.
ABA can be thought of as applying behavioral principles to behavioral goals and carefully measuring the results. While the idea of using rewards and consequences to teach behavior is probably as old as human civilization, the idea of carefully applying rewards and consequences to achieve specific, measurable goals is relatively new.
While many people are strong advocates of ABA because of its demonstrable success in achieving specific outcomes, others believe it is at best disrespectful and, at worst, actually damaging to the individual.
History of ABA Therapy
Dr. Ivar Lovaas, a behavioral psychologist, first applied ABA to autism in the Psychology Department at UCLA in 1987. He believed that social and behavioral skills could be taught, even to profoundly autistic children, through the ABA method.
The idea was (and is) that autism is a set of neurological conditions with topographical symptoms that can be modified. When autistic behaviors are no longer evident to the observer, the assumption is that autism itself has been effectively treated.
Whatever one’s opinion about Lovaas’s approach, his idea turned out to be quite correct: many if not most children who receive intensive ABA training learn to behave appropriately at least some of the time, and some even lose their autism diagnosis after years of intensive therapy.
Over time, Lovaas’s techniques have been studied and modified by therapists with slightly or significantly different visions of behaviorism. Techniques such as “pivotal response” and “language-based ABA” have become well-established autism treatments in their own right.
Several of these techniques bring together ideas from both the behavioral and the developmental realm, meaning that they focus not only on behaviors per se but also on social and emotional engagement.
What Can Children Learn Through ABA?
Most of the time, ABA therapy is intended to increase language acquisition and help get to developmental milestones. For example, ABA may be used to reduce outbursts and tantrums or to teach a child to sit quietly, use words to make requests, or wait for their turn in the playground.
ABA can also be used to teach simple and complex skills. For example, ABA can be used to reward a child for brushing his teeth correctly, or for sharing a toy with a friend.
While classic ABA can be used in a “natural” setting (a playground, for example), it is not intended to build emotional skills. So, for example, while ABA might teach a child to shake hands or greet another person with a handshake, it won’t help that child to feel an emotional connection with another person.
It takes an extraordinary therapist to use ABA to teach academic content, imaginative or symbolic thinking, or empathy.
How Does ABA Therapy Work?
The most basic Lovaas method starts with “discrete trials” therapy. A discrete trial consists of a therapist asking a child for a particular behavior (for example, “Johnny, please pick up the spoon”).
If the child complies, he is given a “reinforcer” or reward in the form of a food treat, a high five, or any other reward that means something to the child. If the child does not comply, he does not receive the reward, and the trial is repeated.
The specific content of discrete trial therapy is based on an evaluation of the individual child, his needs, and his abilities. So a child who is already capable of sorting shapes would not be asked to sort shapes indefinitely for rewards—but would focus on different, more challenging social and/or behavioral tasks.
The very youngest children (under age 3) receive a modified form of ABA which is much closer to play therapy than to discrete trials. As they master behaviors, well-trained therapists will start to take children into real-world settings where they can generalize the behaviors they have learned and incorporate them into ordinary social experiences.
ABA can also be used, in one of its many forms, with older children, teens, or even adults. Discrete trials ABA is still in use in some settings, and for some children. Other forms of ABA, however, are becoming increasingly popular, such as precision teaching.
In addition, rather than providing 1-to-1 therapy in a classroom or office, many therapists are now administering ABA in natural settings such as playgrounds, cafeterias, and community locations. This approach makes it easier for children to immediately use the skills they learn in a real-world situation.
Is ABA Right for Your Child?
ABA is everywhere, it’s covered by insurance, and it helps children with autism to use “expected” behaviors and control some of their more challenging impulses. These behavioral skills can make a big difference in how well your child manages school and social experiences.
A board-certified analyst (BCBA) provides ABA therapy services. ABA therapy programs also involve therapists or registered behavior technicians. These therapists are trained and supervised by the BCBA.
As with many approaches to autism, ABA is certainly worth a try, as it is the only evidence-based therapy for autism. Before getting started, however, be sure your child’s therapist is trained and knows how and where they will be working with your child, and work with your therapist to set up measurable goals. Keep a close eye on the process and outcomes.
Most importantly, be aware of your child’s responses to the therapist and the therapy. Is she excited when she “gets to” work with her therapist? Is she responding to the therapist with smiles and engagement? Is she learning skills that are helping her in her daily life?
If the answers are “yes,” you’re moving in the right direction. If not, it’s time to reassess.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment with ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
Sources
Verywell Health ABA Blog
by Jessie Cooper | Jun 1, 2021
It’s been a little over a year since I started blogging. I was asked to start blogging by my marketing team to bring relevant information to our families. I was secretly waiting for this invitation because I’ve always wanted to be a writer and felt ashamed while thinking about “proper writing.” The invitation to write for you all quickly became therapy for me. The perfectionism that was holding me back was put down and writing has quickly become my favorite part of every week (outside of basement snuggles and coffee…).
When I began writing the blog I was focused on the services provided by Instructional ABA Consultants to support families of children with autism. I also wrote as a mama of two young children and one adopted teenager to let all mamas (and papas) out there know they are not alone. That even someone like me, an experienced clinician and CEO, has struggled with motherhood, tiny humans, and teenagers. Raising other humans is no easy feat and it takes a village of support and love. My hope was that my writing created a space of belonging for parents of both neurotypical children and children with autism.
Finding Myself During the COVID-19 Pandemic
As the pandemic hit in early 2020, I was not only burdened with running a company through a pandemic. I was also burdened with sheltering in place, taking care of my children, domestic violence, and the end of my marriage. I’ve alluded to the fact that I am a survivor of domestic violence. What I have not told you, however, is that I am one of the too many women who were (or are) not safe at home.
For a long while, I did not want to write this because I was ashamed. It’s not easy to identify domestic violence, let alone leave it behind. I was also fearful that anything and everything I wrote or said would be used in court against me. That by speaking up about my situation I would damage myself. There is much I will not say until I am ready, but please know this: I was not safe in my marriage. Neither were my children. I hold no ill will toward my ex-husband, but I absolutely believe abuse deserves accountability and that we all deserve to be safe. Writing about healing, alongside a community of support, helped show me the way out. I hope someday my writing will be a candle for others.
Shifting into a mindset where I can speak up (after 6 months of trauma-based therapy and more love than anyone can ask for) showed me that my current focus is shifting away from the original focus of my writing. I want to be able to continue to explore my own writing while not forgetting the part of my tribe who need online support for their children with autism and parenting. In a gentle way, I found it to be true that the content surrounding autism and parenting should be given to a writer who is currently more aligned with this topic. I also wanted to continue writing personally as a way to heal from trauma and live a life built in joy.
How did I decide what to do?
New Writings and Blogs
As usual, when I don’t know what to do, I went first to my gut, then to my team (tribe at home) and asked what to do.
This month my company will be splitting the blog section into two tabs. The first section will be for autism-related topics and family support. The second will be my writing, wherever that takes us. It is my hope that both blogs serve each community that receives them by being relevant to their respective topics.
Professionally, I continue as the CEO and owner of Instructional ABA Consultants serving children and adults with disabilities regardless of funding source. We have a clear mission and a badass team. Personally, I’m embracing the author I’ve always wanted to be and hoping my words bring peace, hope, joy, and connection to others.
May we all be happy, healthy, safe, and free.
Xoxo,
Jessie
