by Jessie Cooper | Feb 24, 2022
Last week I wrote to you about life being beautiful, even when it is hard after yet another winter in COVID and the extension of my divorce. As with many of us, these past two years have been full of pain for me alongside joyful moments. Leaving domestic violence saved my life and began to lay the groundwork for my children living free of abuse. Yet the system in which I am divorcing poses its own challenges as many systems do.
Living through the pandemic, alongside my family and friends, has also been traumatizing not only for me but for the people I love. As yet another winter rolled in with no change to the stressors around me, for the first time in a long time, I was able to see that pain is part of life and oftentimes it is out of our control. I’ve often written about fear as a guidepost, but the acceptance of the pain that true trauma and hardship bring is real. I’d like to say more.
Accepting Emotions
As a small child, I thought that life was always supposed to be happy and that happiness was the destination we were all working toward. I was taught, as a girl, to modify my emotions to keep the peace and others comfortable. Any type of negative emotion was seen as something to be avoided and punished. Being uncomfortable or causing discomfort seemed to be a cultural “No” for women where I grew up.
I am lucky enough to have a mother who at home allowed us to feel our full range of emotions (and I had a lot) but even with this outlet, I was conditioned to feel shame over negative and loud emotions that often came from fear, pain, and my experiences with injustice. Happiness was where we were all going and how other people deserved to feel. The full range of negative emotions I felt (and still feel) were not welcomed and are still not welcomed in many places.
You see in a world where comfort and happiness are the prizes, discomfort is seen as the enemy. We are sold an awful lot of bullshit from the stories politicians tell, social media, and marketing firms about how to stay small and comfortable. Feel pain? Vote for me and I’ll fix your suffering. Feel pain? Follow my beautiful life on Instagram, then copy it. Feel pain? Buy another…fill in the blank to numb it. Feel pain? Just pour another glass of wine mama. All these ‘solutions’ when the real answer is, “feel the pain; first nurture your own heart and soul, then ever so slowly step back into life.”
Pay Attention to You, Not What the World is Telling You
Our society is gaslighting us by telling us that life is supposed to be warm and fuzzy all of the time. If we question our own discomfort, leaning into how we feel, we are challenging the system of power that is designed to keep us small. In my recent experience, if you speak loudly about discomfort (like domestic violence) shame is rampant because speaking about pain makes other people uncomfortable. I can write with 100% certainty that other survivors have had this experience when they have spoken about their abuse. Perhaps, in my lifetime, that percentage will decrease.
But here’s the thing. None of us, none of us, go through life in a bubble feeling happy all of the time. Happiness is fleeting and if we are using it as a meter for our life we will in fact miss our lives. Joy is a long-lasting emotion that can live with pain. I’ll write more about this later, but today we stay with pain.
How many of you have been raised to believe that pain is a scary, avoidable emotion that needs to leave your life as quickly as it came? And how many of us have had life experiences that are outside of our control that caused the pain? I’m guessing all of us. At the end of one of Glennon Doyle’s recent podcasts, her daughter Tish Melton sings. One line in the song has stuck with me week over week. “I hit rock bottom, it felt like a brand new start. I’m not the problem, sometimes things fall apart.”
This line stays with me because so many of us are not only told to avoid pain but told that when bad things happen it’s our fault especially when we are talking about abuse. Or that if we are feeling pain our job is to hide the pain to keep everyone comfortable, because everyone else being comfortable keeps us safe. It’s a loop that ultimately leads to shame and, as the brilliant Brene Brown writes, “the only way to eradicate shame is to talk about it.”
Pain & Shame
So, if pain and the strong emotions surrounding this pain are part of life, why should pain something to be avoided? The real answer is it should not. Pain is just part of life. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not something we need to race past to get back to happiness. It just is.
And alongside pain just being part of life, joy is also a part. Sitting with pain and allowing others to know about your pain heals your own experience with pain and, in cases of abuse, can save the lives of others when you speak out. The more we allow pain to be part of life, the more we can tackle head-on what is working in our lives, how to nurture ourselves through life’s challenges, and how to protect others from the pain others are trying to inflict on us. The small subset that is.
It’s OK to say what hurts. If we swallow our pain and push on into, “fine,” just to demonstrate we’ve won the golden ticket of happiness we will in fact miss our own lives. Pain happens. Hard times happen. How we navigate the pain is not only the roadmap back to our own hearts but will help to build a more true representation of the human experience.
If you are living in a situation where pain is happening because another person is causing it, this type of pain is not OK and not what I am writing about. I am writing about the pain that comes from feeling our own emotions and human experiences. If another person is hurting you, in any way, the kindest thing you can do for yourself is to leave. Yes, it will hurt, but that pain is worth it. The pain you are feeling from abuse is never, not ever OK.
Pain within is a compass. It tells us how to care for ourselves and how to leave what is no longer serving us. Happiness is a guise as a final destination. Freedom is what we all deserve. Freedom to be who we are, feel what we feel, and live our lives as close to our soul as possible.
I don’t know about you but I’m not raising my little men to be happy, I’m raising them to be free. Free to feel every part of their human experience knowing that first mama and then their own hearts is a safe space to land.
Xoxo,
Jessie
P.s. This one’s for you Kiki
by IABA Team | Feb 19, 2022
Medicaid in Illinois has 2 types of plans that are commonly given to children–All Kids and Managed Care plans. The short version of what these 2 packages are can be summed up by saying All Kids is a complete health insurance plan while Managed Care is a recommended care plan where some things may not be covered.
Both of these plans have specific uses for those in need of healthcare. Applications need to be submitted and approved before any coverage is granted.
So, what are the differences between All Kids and Managed Care when it comes to benefits and uses? Let’s take a look.
Illinois Medicaid All Kids
All Kids is, quite simply, a complete health insurance package for a child in need.
Illinois’ All Kids program is for children who need comprehensive, affordable, health insurance, regardless of immigration status or health condition. All Kids covers:
- Doctor visits
- Hospital stays
- Prescription drugs
- Vision care & glasses
- Dental care
- Regular check-ups
- Immunization shots
- Medical therapy
- Speech therapy
- Physical therapy
- ABA services (As of October 2020)
To receive All Kids benefits, a family & child must meet several criteria. Check out the Illinois All Kids webpage for more information.
Click here to visit the State of Illinois application page.
Illinois Medicaid Managed Care
Managed care is a kind of health insurance program. When you enroll in managed care, you become a member of a Health Plan. You will have at least 5 Health Plans to choose from depending on where you live. The Health Plan you choose will offer you a full range of services while helping you coordinate your health care.
- Your health care needs
- Help manage your health care conditions
- Give you information you need to stay healthy
- Help you identify your health goals and create a care plan to achieve those goals
- Answer questions about your care
- Find a doctor or specialist
- Transition out of a hospital or facility
- Provide community resources
Unlike All Kids, managed care is not a comprehensive health plan. Managed care plans can help you find the care you need, but may not cover all the costs. Be sure to talk to a Medicaid representative if you have questions.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
IABA consultants is now accepting All Kids Medicaid!
Medicaid Clinic Timeline:
- Oak Lawn: Current
- Naperville: May 2022
- Glenview: Summer 2022
- Managed Care Plans: Summer 2022
Dates are tentative and may be subject to change.
For details and coverage information, find the location closest to you and give us a call or send us an email.
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by Jessie Cooper | Feb 17, 2022
This past November I made a decision to stop publicly writing until my divorce was final. I’ve spent hours on the stand just reading my own bank statements and wanted to prevent my blog from somehow adding to the length of the divorce process. In September of last year, the courts scheduled a final hearing for March 3rd, 2022. “Just 6 months,” I thought, “I can do 6 more months.”
This past week I received a call from my new lawyer… another extension. Four more months. The date I was told was final was not. There is so much I want for my children, so four more months of the same felt unreal, yet here it was. It felt like Groundhog Day. Haven’t I been here before? Stuck in the same?
Dealing with an Extended Divorce Process
Yes, I have been divorcing for what will now be more than half of my younger son Declan’s life. He was 18 months when this all started, now he wants a race car cake, like Metchie (his older brother, Dametrius) for his third birthday. My Henry will be ready for kindergarten this fall. My son Dametrius will start looking at colleges.
My children have kept growing, yet their mama’s world has seemed stuck in the same storm. Sunshine was promised yet clouds continue to roll in. As hard as my situation is (divorcing in a small town while leaving domestic violence) I can’t help but think of all of us, stuck in the pandemic for longer than my divorce, waiting for a clearing stuck in the darkness.
Last September when I received the final divorce date I thought “OK after my divorce is final life can go on.” I will be able to make plans. I want to go to the beach. To hold my babies for more than two nights at a time before transferring to their father yet again. To begin building a life with the amazing partner I am lucky to call mine. To spend time with friends. The list went on and on.
With COVID, I have felt the same way, wishing for it to be over so life can go on. Have you? How many times have you found yourself saying, “when COVID is over, when it’s normal again, I’m going to…” fill in the blank. I know personally, I’ve thought about activities for the kids, swim lessons, flying on an airplane with children, and so much more. My sister’s darling twins turned 3 this year, she really, really wants to take them to storytime.
Finding Motivation
I don’t know about you, but when there is a restriction present it is hard to plan, to know what to do, to make things feel formal. Whether it’s a divorce, a pandemic, or anything else outside of your control, how do you convince yourself to go on when sometimes all you want to do is go back? Back to the way things were before the restriction was there.
This week when I got the news of yet another delay something shifted in me. Snapped if you will. I couldn’t do it. I could not spend one more moment telling myself, “when I’m divorced I’ll fill in the blank.” I don’t know about you but I also cannot do one more, “when COVID is over then I’ll fill in the blank” either.
I looked at my babies (OK now full-on boys) and right in front of me, life is happening. They are growing, evolving, and living. They aren’t waiting for anything to change their lives, they are just alive. While divorce is hard, they are little, and often the biggest upset of the day is something like no ice cream or Mario time.
Dametrius is actually thriving and his thriving splits my face into a smile I cannot shake. In looking at my children and now two restrictions without an end I can depend on I decided, “you know what, I can live too.” I don’t need to wait for this to be over and the truth is life isn’t going to be the same after all of this but it’s not going to be better either. It’s just going to be different. There are amazing things happening right now in the darkness, shining stars if you will.
Seizing the Now
Sure there are a million things my heart and mind want to do when I am divorced and the pandemic isn’t restricting our social life. But there is so much to love right here, right now. Just this past weekend, I celebrated my 35th birthday and was surrounded by the best friends and family I could ever ask for. I am not kidding you, outside of my dear Aunt Linda in Colorado and Catherine in New Mexico, I sat down with, dined with, or exchanged gifts with everyone I love. Everyone.
How does a woman become that lucky? And these people I love? They are the most incredible people you have ever met. After spending a week with them, alongside my boys, I basked in the evidence right in front of me that life can be beautiful even when hard things aren’t going anywhere. Or are going somewhere at a snail’s pace.
I thought to myself, what do I want to do now with my one wild and precious life? I do not have time today to fill the pages with my dreams. But today, I want to adjust my spirit for the slow walkout and to enjoy every step on the path. I’ve got some incredible people walking right alongside me.
When Life is Dark as Winter’s Night, Share Some Kindness, Bring Some Light.
Xoxo,
Jessie
by IABA Team | Feb 12, 2022
ABA therapy only recently became available as a Medicaid-covered health option in October of 2021. ABA therapy and related services are needed more every year, but can be too expensive for many families. Medicaid coverage can alleviate the financial burden and allow families to get the care they need.
What ABA Services & Programs are Covered by Illinois Medicaid?
The state of Illinois only recently (2021 federal EPSDT mandate) recognized ABA therapy as a valid medical service for ASD and other behavioral issues. Illinois Medicaid can cover the following services:
- Behavioral health services
- Licensed clinical psychologists
- Licensed clinical social workers (LCSW)
- Board-certified behavioral analysts
- Registered behavior technicians
- Specialists in any of the above categories
Clinical psychologists and LCSWs can oversee and evaluate behavioral programs conducted by BCBAs or RBTs. Medicaid funding is required that a state-licensed Licensed Professional of the Healing Arts (like a clinical psychologist and LCSW) supervise BCBA treatment plans for individual plans to cover ABA services. The behavioral programs are created based on individual needs and get input from clients, families, and healthcare professionals. All behavior programs must be formally created using behavioral analyst assessments (like the ABLLS/VB-MAPP) and have measurable goals on their behavioral treatment plan as required by Medicaid.
Finding a Provider for Medicaid ABA Therapy
The biggest hurdle for anyone looking to secure Medicaid-covered ABA services is the lack of providers. ABA therapy is allowed to be covered through Medicaid, but ABA services providers don’t have to accept Medicaid.
The best way to find an ABA service provider that accepts Medicaid is to talk to your child’s doctor or psychologist and ask about clinics or services that accept Medicaid. LCSWs are also a great way to find a provider that accepts Medicaid (LCSW services may be covered under your Medicaid plan).
Medicaid Managed Care for ABA Therapy
Be sure to get information about both the Medicaid All Kids and Managed Care before applying. Managed Care programs are not actually handled by Medicaid–they are handled by contracted insurance providers (In Illinois the providers are Blue Cross Blue Shield IL and Meridian).
While All Kids is directly handled by Illinois Medicaid, Managed Care is handled by contracted outside insurance providers who report to the state. Managed Care programs may make different recommendations based on the insurance provider who manages a given plan. This may happen by recommending children to a specific in-network provider for a given service (in-network for BCBS Community or Meridian).
The coverage varies greatly from All Kids to Managed Care programs, so make sure the services your child needs are covered by any Managed Care program you are considering.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
IABA consultants is now accepting All Kids Medicaid! For details and coverage information, find the location closest to you and give us a call or send us an email.
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by IABA Team | Feb 5, 2022
What is an LCSW?
A licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) is a state-certified social worker with at least a master’s degree in a social work program. Each LCSW must also pass a national examination. LCSWs have extensive professional training in their field (minimum of 2 years & 3,000 clinically-supervised hours after receiving a master’s) and specialize in mental health.
The mental health aspect of social work is what separates an LCSW from other social workers.
How do LCSWs Help with ABA Therapy?
LCSWs work with clients to secure services from the state they are certified in. This includes securing Medicaid coverage for ABA Therapy and related services. LCSWs work doesn’t stop at securing health coverage, however; they also oversee case & client management and evaluate progress.
LCSWs are able to make recommendations and keep an eye on if their recommendations are working as intended. LCSWs are able to do the following in tandem with ABA therapy and services:
- Case Planning & Management
- Implementing and overseeing ongoing cases
- Evaluations of case progress
- Recommendations based on evaluation results
- Social skills groups to support the social goals of ABA therapy
- Supporting the entire family unit with resources and community outreach
LCSWs talk to both the families of clients and the BCBAs (or other certified behavioral health professionals) to create a clear picture of a client’s needs.
LCSWs & Medicaid
Medicaid plans typically cover both social work and mental health services. An LCSW working with Medicaid is able to secure coverage for ABA therapy services. LCSWs are able to make great recommendations due to their mental health expertise, which includes:
- Mental health treatments & programs
- Clinical supervision of ABA treatment plans
- Family & social functions
- Interpersonal relationships
- Systems–both systems theory and first-hand experience
- Family intakes
- Family education (working with families to understand treatment programs)
- Outreach
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
IABA consultants is now accepting All Kids Medicaid!
Medicaid Clinic Timeline:
- Oak Lawn: Current
- Naperville: May 2022
- Glenview: Summer 2022
- Managed Care Plans: Summer 2022
Dates are tentative and may be subject to change.
For details and coverage information, find the location closest to you and give us a call or send us an email.
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans to use ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
by IABA Team | Jan 25, 2022
Note: This short article was primarily put together for reference. The actual process for diagnosing ASD is much more complex than just the steps and areas of note published in the DSM-5. Only medically-licensed professionals are able to properly diagnose ASD and any co-occurring conditions. This article is meant for reference use only and is not intended to provide medical advice.
Getting a proper autism (ASD) assessment or diagnosis may seem complicated, but in reality, only a few specialists need to be contacted in order to set up an evaluation. Autism diagnoses can only be given by a select group of medically-licensed professionals. The professions that can give an autism diagnosis include:
- Developmental Pediatricians
- Pediatric Neurologists
- Child Psychiatrists
- Child Psychologists
The American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) includes guidelines professionals use to look for signs of ASD.
What is Observed for an Autism Diagnosis
The DSM-5 specifies five areas that need to be evaluated for an ASD diagnosis.
Persistent Deficits in Social Communication and Social Interaction Across Multiple Contexts
The first area observed by doctors looking at a potential ASD diagnosis focuses on social issues. Please note that this is a list for reference–only medically licensed professionals can make a proper diagnosis for ASD. There are a few specific things that need to be carefully observed:
- Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity.
- Abnormal social approaches
- Failure to have a reciprocal conversation
- Lack of sharing interests
- Lack of emotions
- Failure to respond to social queues and interactions
- Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors.
- Poor communication (nonverbal and nonverbal in tandem with verbal)
- Lack of eye contact
- Abnormal body language
- Lack of facial expressions
- Unable to interpret gestures
- Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships.
- Difficulty adjusting to varying social situations
- Difficulty with play or making friends
- Lack of interest in peers
Restricted, Repetitive Patterns of Behavior, Interests, or Activities
Doctors look for specific patterns or combinations of behaviors, interests, and activities to help guide an autism evaluation.
- Repetitive motor skills, movements, speech, or use of objects.
- Repeated gestures or motions
- Specific, repetitive organization
- Repeated idiosyncrasies
- Insistence on sameness.
- Inflexible to routine changes
- Ritualized patterns
- Rigid thinking or action patterns
- Highly restricted or fixated interests.
- Strong attachments or preoccupations with unusual objects
- Excessive use or focus on a specific object
- Hyperactivity to sensory input.
- Indifference to pain or extreme temperatures
- Adverse reactions to specific sensory stimuli
- Excessive fascination with sensory stimuli
ASD Symptoms Over Time
ASD symptoms must be present in early development but may not manifest fully until social demands exceed limited capacities or are masked by learned strategies later in life. The DSM-5 notes that some symptoms of ASD can only become apparent later in life, as an individual is forced to interact with more of the world. These symptoms alone may not be enough for an ASD diagnosis if no symptoms were present in an individual as a child.
Significant Social Impairments
Records of ASD symptoms causing clinically significant impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning. Medical professionals performing ASD diagnoses will look at social interactions and any impairments. Accepted social queues, communication, and other social stimuli will be used to evaluate.
No Evidence of Intellectual Disability
ASD evaluations must have evidence to rule out other diagnoses of intellectual disabilities. Although ASD frequently occurs alongside other intellectual disabilities, the diagnoses must be made separately. Social factors such as communication are commonly used to differentiate ASD from intellectual disabilities but are not always the case.
Use of Autism Diagnosis Criteria Reference
This short article was primarily put together for reference. The actual process for diagnosing ASD is much more complex than just the steps and areas of note published in the DSM-5. Only medically-licensed professionals are able to properly diagnose ASD and any co-occurring conditions.
The guidelines in the DSM-5 are also useful as a quick reference for things to notice in a young child’s development. Again, only medically-licensed professionals can diagnose ASD, but parents must take note of any developmental abnormalities as a child ages.
ABA Therapy from IABA Consultants
If you have questions regarding autism treatment, education, or plans using ABA therapy, we are here for you! Our goal is to make sure no family is turned away due to financial constraints. Our therapy team would love to talk to you. Find the location closest to you and give us a call. We’re here for you.
