by Jessie Cooper | Mar 12, 2026
Last time I wrote to you, we talked about the importance of self-care in the seasons of our lives that are difficult. Have you tried this, darling? Have you sat with yourself in dark or hard moments with your gentle hand against your heart? Asked your body what it needs? Given space to your spirit to gently peer in to provide a respite from your experience here on earth? I hope, my love, you have just for a moment sat with yourself and offered this care. Our modern lives are full of expectations and it seems as though we are all somehow missing the mark, perhaps even the mark to sit with ourselves. If you haven’t yet leaned in to see what you need, that’s okay, too. You see, life isn’t always about what we do; it is often about what we choose not to.
Early Experiences
As a child I was raised in a home where meeting the family standards and expectations of others was held in high regard. My parents are good people and wanted what was best for us and in the 90’s their view was of their generation. There was a mold to fit and if you fit the mold life would be easy! The problem with this was two-fold. The first is that neither of my parents fit the mold from which they came. My mama was raised in the city in the 1950’s by parents who looked like movie stars and were strict beyond measure. My dad was raised by a traveling Methodist minister alongside siblings who subscribed to toxic patriarchy. My mama was a T-shirt wearing, war protesting liberal by the time she reached college. My dad saw (and sees) all beings as equal including women, which included my mama at his side and not below him as the male. They weren’t who they were raised to be. But the 90’s culture was strong and they had ideas of who my sister and I should be.
They wanted to create their own normal and for us to fit that mold. This led to the second problem: as a child, unless it made sense in my heart, I had a very difficult time following the expectations of others. I can’t remember a time I didn’t question a rule they tried to enforce. And at the same time I very much wanted to make my family happy. It was (and is) a little dance of, “No, I don’t want to, shoot, did that make you sad?” Even in a home where I knew my gender made me equal, I grappled with how to balance who I was with what others wanted from me.
Connecting to our Present
Fast forward to today and you are probably wondering as the owner of IABA why I am sharing this back story. What does it have to do with the families we serve or the work that we do? Well, darlings, the short answer is everything. You see, as the founder of IABA I drive the vision of IABA and what direction we go. That direction is always sitting alongside the families we serve and people we employ to better understand their life experiences. What have they been through? What do they need? How can they soar? And to sit alongside the people that come through IABA I always remember we are all human, having a human experience.
As the founder I am right here with you. Yes, I have the incredible honor of running IABA and providing care to our communities. The backstory of my parents is a small gleam into what shapes my values today and how I choose to lead. In this season of my life I’m realizing that no matter how much my logical head knows not to follow the expectations of others, my heart still wants to make sure everyone is okay. It is a delicate balance within myself. And I have found that when I am able to release expectations, life flows easily. This, my love, is what I want for you.
The Desire for Life
The release of expectations does not mean the release of desires. To be alive is to have dreams, hopes, and needs. The release of expectations means to release the internal (and external) cultural rules that prohibit us from living a life of ease and joy. When I wrote to you about self-care, I was smack in the middle of ignoring what my body needed while trying to hold up everything I am responsible for. My body shut me down (for six long weeks…) while I tried to push through without noticing my own pattern. After two very intentional weeks (not just one night of soup) I am finally feeling more connected to myself. That connection came after I released everything I thought I should be doing.
So what about you, darlings? Many of my readers are parents of children with neurodiversity. These parents are running a marathon of therapies while trying deeply to take care of their lives in addition to their child they so deeply love. Lives with children are full of love alongside worry. Is my child going to be okay? Am I doing enough? What about my marriage? Is there time for my friends? Who is making dinner? Why does laundry never end? And the list goes on and on. The expectations of being a parent are strong. And beneath that parent is a person who didn’t know the breadth of their responsibilities until they met their little person (maybe little people).
You too, my darlings, have a backstory, a childhood, an internal dialogue that is driving you day to day. We all do. And while our stories are different, we all seem to have the same murmuring worry of, “Am I doing enough?” I am here to tell you that it is not what you do, but who you are that is enough. That it is not what you cram into your lives that matters but instead your life itself. Today I am writing only to my parents and I hope you hear me loud and clear – who you are is exactly what your children need.
Yes, life is hard, and parenting is a madhouse. But darlings, in all of that there is life. Won’t you lean gently into your own heart, release what others want, and breathe an expansive breath into the stars? Your having what you need and not what others want is how to fill your cup. A full cup overflows into the lives around them. Kids and all.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
by Jessie Cooper | Feb 19, 2026
In my last blog to you I wrote about IABA’s step towards interdisciplinary care for our families. Over the last month I’m beyond proud to say that each Behavioral Health Clinic has either a LCPC (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor) or a LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker) leading this charge under the guidance of our fabulous Dr. Toshi Szypra. Together this team is connecting with each family to ask, “How else can we help?” As the founder of IABA I’m still in awe of my incredible team that has the capacity to both listen and create. That is after all my very favorite thing.
A Season of Too Much
As we close out January that was full of the flu and snow days that never ended, February offers the light that spring is on its way. I wish I could say that in our success in hiring the positions that will create wrap-around care, excitement abounded. In our logical minds my team and I knew we were laying the foundation for something incredible. In reality three out of four of us have young children and had lost all patience for the month. We are people serving people and were at our limit. I would love to tell you we all leaned inward, took long weekends, and came back recharged. However, we all have a bit of work-a-holic in us that created a whole lot of resistance to being overwhelmed leading to, well, crashing.
As we sat around each other I knew I hadn’t led by example. I pushed instead of allowing space for life. Yes, there is a business to run, clients to serve, services to create, and employees to supervise. Every day someone around us needs something and we want to support, empower, and create independence among both clients and employees alike. January turned into a yes month when it should have been a month of setting boundaries for ourselves; boundaries that allow us to recharge and take care of ourselves and our families so when we do show up to work we’re present.
The wonderful Brene Brown gave me this priceless little phrase, “shitty first draft.” As the founder, the way I allowed us to burn out in January because of pressure at work and home was my shitty first draft. You see, one thing that sets IABA apart is that we are not chasing a corporate ladder. Not one employee is expected to give all of themselves away to the organization to take one step up that invisible ladder. Instead, we sit beside each other and listen, and employees advance when they are excellent at their craft. That was my vision at the start of IABA and it is still my vision today. When families come to IABA to gain access to care, I want them to know that as an employer we give that same care to our staff.
A Chance to Start Anew
Overarchingly we excel at this balance though I do have to admit that “work, life balance” is a bit of a trigger phrase for me as the founder. In my 20’s, hiring also 20-somethings, this little phrase was overplayed. That being said, we are an organization of people, serving people. And we are a woman-led organization. The gift of this is not something that I take for granted. When you put women at a table together incredible things happen. As women we have the unique skill sets to see what is needed around us and the brilliance to create it. And, as women, we are still fighting uphill against the demands at home while trailblazing our careers. Like too many other women, we still get caught up in trying to do it all.
To change our trajectory for 2026 as a leadership team, I called out the way in which we were expecting too much of ourselves in January. Relief flooded the room and each of us was able to breathe and agree. We connected as people before we asked one more thing of each other at work. In that meeting I knew my team was back (and going to hopefully take some time off) as we recentered.
What I want you to know, dear reader, is that we are not immune from life. That we are moms like you, trying to do the best we can for our own children and for IABA. And that we know what it’s like to try and do it all. We also know, even when we crash, that it’s not on us to do everything. But it is most certainly on us to take care of ourselves before we take care of others. Last night I made a bone broth soup, poured a good glass of wine, and followed it with ice water at bed. As I type to you this morning I’m a step closer to being centered.
In the light of February I am hopeful to share with the families we support the message to care for themselves, too, and, where life feels overwhelming, to lean into IABA. While we might not be able to help in every aspect, we are listening, and we relate. Sometimes all the help anyone needs is to know they are not alone.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
by Jessie Cooper | Jan 22, 2026
In my last blog to you I wrote about the work we’ve done at Instructional ABA Consultants in the last year. As an organization it took us over three years to fully understand Behavioral Health Clinics (BHCs). We know it will take time to help our families learn exactly what a BHC can do and how this will help them. Over the past fourteen years there has been one driving force behind each change we’ve made as a company. There isn’t a change we’ve made without explaining why.
With that, I want to start exactly there in hopes of beginning to help the families and potential families of IABA to know the difference between traditional ABA and interdisciplinary care. It is my hope, darlings, that in understanding our new why, you will come away also knowing how you can access more care for your family.
Our new reason is simple; it is that in order for our neurodiverse children to thrive, we believe the entire family deserves support. While traditional ABA is wonderful and yields incredible results when done with integrity, it does not look beyond to see how ABA can benefit families. An integrative lens asks the question, “What other resources and services will increase the quality of life for families?” In typing this to you I am smiling. You see, darlings, I want nothing more than for each of you to live a life of ease. Raising children is not an easy feat. I know this personally and professionally. I too have hit some walls as a mama and learned the hard way (as I always do) that I can’t do everything by myself.
Asking for Support
One thing I have learned is that when I believe I have asked for help and I am still struggling, it is not my fault. It is an opportunity to look again with compassion to my own experience, peer into my life as an observer, and ask, “What more do you need?” You see, I believe that people are inherently good, myself included. So when I am struggling on the home front, I have to believe I am trying my best – and that my best may not have all the tools and resources my children need.
Just recently I hit a new wall with my own children. I am a mama who allows my children to feel their feelings, all of them. While this is a beautiful thing, it has also created an environment in which all emotions are felt loudly. I’m beyond proud of my little men for expressing their emotions. I want them to feel free to be themselves and to be honest about their experiences on earth. That being said, allowing free expression of feelings can be overwhelming as a single mom. Over winter break as the solstice set in I realized I needed help once again. I wasn’t able to sit in presence with my children while they experienced their feelings because of my own exhaustion. As a mama I want to demonstrate that I’m taking care of myself, too. Becoming emotionally drained from my children’s emotions is not what any of us needed. While therapy is incredible for my children, this time around I found I also simply needed a helping hand at home.
A Wrap Around Approach
In writing this to you I can see your family from my own experience. I do reach out, as many of our IABA’s families do, for outside support for my children. We practice the tools from therapy and work on our goals at home. And, outside of just working on emotions, my family unit needs support simply as human beings. As much as I want to be everything for my children, I know I can’t live a life of ease if I am burning the candle at both ends. Neither, my darlings, can you. If your child is already getting ABA therapy, that is an incredible step to support your family. Integrative care then asks the question, “What else do you need as a family?”
I’m personally learning daily what I need, then unlearning, and learning again by surrounding myself with loving professionals and friends. At IABA I’m beyond proud that the team I lean upon and consider not only my employees but friends are offering that same care and compassion to our IABA families. As we kick off our new year at IABA, families will begin to experience an increase of involvement from us. We will be taking our time in interviewing our families, cross-legged and with open hearts, to continue to understand what they need. In these interviews we’ll gather information with curiosity and care. Then, we’ll lean upon our science to analyze and create the services our families are asking for either directly or as identified through our observations of the whole family.
My darlings, dream big. Speak honestly. We are here and we are listening. Does your child need speech at their ABA clinic? What is your home life like when ABA is over? Do you need help in the home outside of ABA so your child can participate with ease in their community? How is school going? Does your child have siblings? Do they need support? What about you? Would counseling while your child receives ABA help your heart? Have you considered OT? What about social skills groups? Each answer you provide is one more clue to us as a company in understanding what our families need. And, as we seek to understand, we will be using the BHC model to build out services to support your needs.
This project will not happen overnight and yet the foundation has been set to build exactly what our families need. And that, my darlings, brings us back to our why. As a mama and the proud founder of IABA I want my family and our families to be fully supported. We’re dreaming big. Tell us what you need, and from there we are committed to continue to create services for the whole family.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
by Jessie Cooper | Dec 31, 2025
As we close another year at Instructional ABA Consultants, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on the year we’ve had as a community. In looking at our year in review, the best place to start for context is the mission statement of IABA. You see, all of those years ago I crafted it knowing that foundationally why I founded the business would never change. It has always been the mission of IABA to serve the underserved. As the industry has grown over the past decade, so have the corporate entities flooding the market to take advantage of high fee schedules of insurance carriers. We’ve seen pop-up after pop-up of “clinic only” ABA centers pushing 40 hours of treatment for all children with autism under 5 years old. From the outside looking in I can see the financial gains of these businesses and how they are succeeding. That is not our story.
You see, while we believe that every child deserves access to quality ABA therapy, we also believe that your child’s insurance rates should never dictate that treatment. We also believe that every child is unique, and providing standardized care is the opposite of our single subject science. As the founder I have always wanted to provide ABA to children and disabled adults who were otherwise turned away. Remember, humanity is what we value; following the dollar is the opposite of true social science.
Our Struggle to Support Medicaid Based ABA
With that being said, we don’t often share how difficult it is to compete in the market when we predominantly serve Medicaid clients. The fee schedules we accept don’t pay enough to keep our lights on if we truly want to recommend individualized therapy hours. We are not forcing children into a 40-hours-per-week clinic; we are individually assessing and working with their parents on how many hours of ABA will truly provide them with a positive outcome. We actually have a policy that children under the age of 5, who are also in part-time preschool, cannot do more than 20 hours a week of ABA. If they did more than that, our little learners would be working over 40 hours a week. Children need time to play and have life outside of therapy. This policy provides that. We chose at IABA to put our clients above their insurance carrier and with that choice we had to be creative to continue carrying on our mission.
That brings me to this year; we’ve been in business for almost 14 years and the past four we’ve been scratching our heads on sustainability alongside integrity of treatment. My brilliant team sat around the table with me once more as we looked at all our options. You see, any time I have a challenge I can’t figure out how to solve, I know that I need to ask for help. I am lucky enough to have a leadership team (and the best lead biller of all time) that have grown up with me in the business. As we sat together last January, we pushed ourselves to get creative knowing that foundationally we needed something else in the business to support our Medicaid clients. In this meeting we talked through policy as well as ways to support our employees while thoughtfully running schedules and holiday time. We also talked about the fact we are Behavioral Health Clinics (BHCs) for the state of Illinois but only provide ABA therapy. In this meeting we asked ourselves, “What if we did more?” From there change was born.
Leaning into Serving More
As a company we were the second organization in the state of Illinois to become Behavioral Health Clinics when the ABA benefit was approved in 2021. At the time it was the only way we could accept Medicaid and so of course we learned how to panel with the state. It met our mission to become a BHC and at the time we were only looking at how to open our services to the children who didn’t have access otherwise. This year, when we looked at the BHCs, we asked ourselves perhaps if we stepped outside of only providing ABA services could we support our mission. The resounding answer after a year of incredibly hard work is yes.
I’m writing this to you because if you are a client of IABA you already know how we provide ABA services and hopefully feel a positive impact in your child’s life. For this coming year we’ve laid the groundwork to add on services through the support of Licensed Clinical Professional Counselors and Licensed Clinical Social Workers to assess “what other services will support the whole family.” As a parent with our company, if your child has Medicaid you’ll start to meet with these professionals as they ask you questions to better understand what further support you need. In developing a lens beyond ABA we also leaned into ABA and identified that we want to become better at parent training. Starting this January we’re rolling out our Senior BCBAs who will work one-on-one with each clinic’s parents to ensure a true understanding of ABA and how to generalize session goals into the home. I know that Oak Lawn is smiling at Alexa coming back and Glenview is celebrating Gillian’s promotion!
A New Path Forward
This new model is a testament to my team working together to look at our problem differently. We wanted to ensure we could serve all our clients and when truly looking at a problem, the solution was simple – serve more. That is of course what has always driven us to change and it is my deep hope that through our work together our new model of Integrative Care will service the entire family. Over the course of the winter we’ll do our best on education for our parents so they know what we’re assessing and through those assessments what additional services we’re building. We are listening; please tell us what you need.
As we close out the year, I want to personally thank our leadership team. Nicole, your brilliant mind and tenacity allow us to build our new services. Kristen, your organization keeps us honest and on track. Katlyn, you walk alongside your clinics listening and caring to ensure they have everything they need. Katie, you hustle more than I could ever ask for keeping Oak Lawn thriving. Ken, you have led the adult team through change with integrity and care. Zoe, you are leading Colorado into the future. And Toshi, you dreamed as big as I did and are guiding us through Integrative Care. We have others that supervise and manage who are not mentioned but equally responsible for our success. It is not those at the top that keep us moving, it is every employee showing up each day giving their best.
With love and appreciation,
Jessie
P.S. Ashley, for all the new talent, thank you.
by Jessie Cooper | Dec 11, 2025
This week I’ve been asked to write to you about what we value at Instructional ABA Consultants. If you are an employee or family we serve, I’m sure that you’ve received a welcome letter from us listing our values. Broadly speaking we value clear communication, compassion, integrity, and accountability. These values were created, then re-created by my incredible team that has stood by my side since the beginning of IABA. In typing this I’m smiling fondly thinking about our old round tables in the first office. This is where we decided who we wanted to be as a company. Today, the same faces that sat beside me are the directors and supervisors you all know so well, directors who all started with me, boots on the ground, to build a company we’re proud of.
In reading over the list of our values, I know that they ring true to what we expect from ourselves and others at IABA. It’s hard to believe that almost fourteen years ago the dream I had to build a company for clients who couldn’t find anyone to take their funding has blossomed into the company I oversee today. As a passionate (ok, fiery) young professional I was deeply in love with applied behavior analysis and how it could change lives when done with integrity. I was also beyond angry that mainstream ABA companies were accepting clients based on their insurance fee schedule not their clinical needs. Through my love and anger I decided that if no one was going to serve the underserved in my community, I’d figure out how to run a company. I mean, my dad owned a farm market. How hard could it be?
Years later I’m smiling to myself about both my ambition and my naive beliefs about what it takes to run a successful business. Thank goodness for youth that gives us wings to try something not knowing how often we will crash before we truly know how to soar.
The Art of Discipline
Over the years of running IABA it has felt as though I’ve lived a thousand lives. It turns out what it takes to run a successful business is a lot and just when you think you’ve learned what it takes another challenge comes knocking. This is especially true for us at IABA because our primary funding is waiver and Medicaid dollars. To access this funding and serve our clients with it is, well, challenging to say the least. And to uphold the magic of ABA done correctly? That, my darlings, is a fine-tuned machine that takes daily attention and care. You see, all those years ago when we decided our values, we also built a scientific performance system. Gently humming behind every skill learned, behavior decreased, and company policy is a data point.
As I write these words to you about what we value at IABA, I know that the business answer here is what we put on all of our paperwork. I’ve told the story I’ve written above more times than I can count. It’s my classic elevator speech, “I was a young BCBA who was…” I’m sure if you read back through my previous blogs you’ll find the trend of our origins – young scientists who were angry at corporate America turned into middle aged scientists still angry at corporate America. Yet when I sit with myself in silence and really think about what we value at IABA, all of the words I’m writing to you fall away and one word softly sits within my heart – humanity.
A Love of Humanity
When you are creating a business on a napkin that becomes a fully operational business, there has to be a why. As an entrepreneur I understand that we need all of the policy, procedures, and business savvy language to ensure we are organized as a business. Giving our staff key touch points like our values helps us all stay centered in knowing both what we expect from each other and what we are committed to providing our clients. But truly, when I look at the team I have today, I know we could wipe away all the noise and in the heart of every employee at IABA one value beats true.
We believe that every child who walks through the door deserves to live their very best life. We’ve held the hands of countless parents who don’t understand their autistic child and need support. And we’ve listened to their hearts asking, “Will my child be okay? Will you treat us right? Do we have to fight for what they need?” Time and time again my staff reply, “We’ve got you.” Because we do. We see that parents are having a difficult enough time as it is and need a company that sees their child as just that, a child. And a company that will offer the highest quality of care using not just the science but the art of ABA.
At IABA we also know that the children we serve grow up to be adults and while we prepare them in our children’s division for this, we also serve adults. While our goal is that every child graduates ABA, we also know that adults living in group homes didn’t have access to ABA as children. Without childhood services, adulthood can be difficult for adults with disabilities. And there are certain disabilities that need lifelong care. My staff see that, too, and so we serve across the lifespan with our science helping wherever we can.
Years ago, I sat with my grandpa talking about faith. He asked me, “Jessie, who will you serve?” I had no idea at the time I would build IABA. Sitting here today, thinking about who we are as a company, I know I have found who I’ve wanted to serve in this chapter of my life. Yes, we have core values. But, my darlings, what we truly value is each other. The lives that walk in our door matter to all of us. When I rest my weary head on the shoulders of the team I have grown up with, I know we’re all doing what we’ve always wanted to do – give each other and our clients a chance to shine. Humanity, at IABA we value humanity.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
