In my last blog I wrote to you about meeting your child where they are on their journey back to school. How is it going, darlings? Has your family adjusted to the new routine of school? How is your child doing with their teachers? Their friends? That new sleep schedule? Activities, anyone? I know you can’t answer my questions with simplicity because back to school season is anything but simple. It’s a season of adjustments. My hope is that for all it is going well, but as a mama I know far too well nothing can go well all of the time. This time around I’m hoping to provide some guidance if your child’s needs aren’t fully being met at school.
Peering into Education
To start our journey together I’d like to take you back about 20 years (I know, I’m dating myself here!). Nearly two decades ago I was completing my undergraduate degree in early childhood education and working as an aide in a preschool. At the time colleges were adapting to “No Child Left Behind” and teaching us how to implement standardized curriculum. Simultaneously in my job placement I had special needs students (undiagnosed autism) who were not being identified and teachers at their wits end on how to teach them. The teachers I worked with were two of the most caring people I had ever met. Their frustration came from not knowing how to help their students while also preparing children for a standardized learning world. This is the start of my journey into ABA and why I started as a home-based therapist to help special needs children. I too wanted to know how to help.
Fast forward about a decade and I had become a BCBA and business owner and was on my way to parenthood. During this decade I spent countless hours with parents, teachers, autistic children, and schools. You see, when I find an under-resourced population both my brain and my heart light up. I love using our science and math to create sustainable resources. In the first decade when I was becoming a BCBA and business owner, one thing ran true in every situation – people were trying their best. As I sat beside struggling children, parents, and teachers, it was not a lack of caring, just like my mentors, but a lack of resources (and often education) that created their frustration. You see, standardized teaching works wonderfully for the median student, but any child on the edges can get lost. Teachers are not readily given the resources or training to help those students.
If we look at this refrain that teachers have signed up to work with children because they truly love them but have been taught to teach to the norm, I am hopeful we can access some compassion. When you have a child who can’t assimilate, they are perfectly performing (remember the learner is always right) with the skills they have. And teachers are trying to provide for their needs without the support they may truly need to help your child. If it rings true for you that you have a child who learns differently or is struggling in school, I hope this refrain helps you to soften towards your school. Once you soften then also lean into the fact your child deserves to thrive and you are their best advocate for getting their needs met at school. Every child deserves a fair, free, and equal education. As their parent you are the biggest voice in the room for your child.
As Your Child’s Advocate
When a child is struggling at school, they need and deserve accommodations. While some schools are well resourced in providing these accommodations, others aren’t (or are part of a good district but with not quite there teachers). As your child’s advocate you get to voice concerns over how your child is progressing in school and what needs they have based on their different ability. You know your child best and as their parent you also know how you hope school can help them grow. Many of our families at IABA achieve this by using a collaborative approach between their home-based ABA team and school team. The art of ABA is to teach idiosyncratically to neurodiverse children alongside social goals set by the parent. If a child at IABA is struggling at school, often crossing over ABA to the school team provides both the advocacy and education to support the child. This can also be true outside of ABA. As a mama, if my children are struggling at school, my first step is to have their outside counselors connect with the school. Teamwork does in fact make the dream work.
At IABA we have carried on our mission for over 13 years to provide services across funding sources, and we navigate red tape to do so. This means that depending on funding and location, how we provide support in school can look different. For instance in Colorado we can provide RBT support in the school and in Illinois we currently support with IEPs, consultations, and at times vendor contracts. We hope to provide RBT support in school someday and are continuing to work with our funders. And, if you’re not a client of IABA, while these examples may not apply, my hope is that the message does. Collaboration with your child’s village of professionals helps them to thrive.
So, my darlings, as you settle into the school year with your child who is perhaps not settling, remember first and foremost they deserve to thrive. Keep your hopes and goals high for your child while walking alongside the teachers who are doing their best with the resources they have. If the school is not able to meet your child’s needs, collaborate and advocate. People don’t know what they don’t know. The beauty of ABA that keeps my fire going all these years is that it provides the resources necessary so that every child can learn. Their home-based success in ABA and other outside therapies just might be the resources their school needs to know about so they can thrive.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper
