As the blooms of spring trees fade and the warmth of summer is upon us, so are our children bursting at the seams with the excitement of another school year finished. The countdown has begun and if you’re anything like me your countdown looks a little different from your children’s. For families of neurodiverse children, while their countdown may not be vocal-verbal, there is still an energy of change in their world; we are all aware that the season is changing.
Alongside my children I am equally excited for sunshine, swimming, frozen treats – popsicles vs. margaritas – it’s all joyful to think about. Yet equally along with that excitement is foreboding joy that my children being home for the summer means that the demands of caretaking increase. While many families are able to use childcare and camps, there are an equal number of families who need to piece together a summer schedule for their children outside of traditional childcare. Being a single mama who shares custody with another parent, my schedule fits around the days I have them. While it is not the same, I can understand the barrier that many of the families we serve at IABA face – the barrier of “it’s all on me to figure it out.”
You see, when as a parent it is up to you to piece together a summer that works for your family and when traditional childcare isn’t a choice, there is an awful lot of stress that goes along with it. So, my darlings, as we step into this new season, instead of first asking what your child needs, I’d like you to ask yourself first what you need. Because while setting up their schedule is on you, it should not be at the expense of you.
What are the stressors leading into summer?
Which ones do you feel you can handle alone?
For which ones do you feel that you need support?
How do you feel at your best as a parent?
And how, my love, can you take care of yourself on the days when tears flow readily?
Parenting is a journey. Often we forget when we are in it that before we had children, we first had ourselves. Each of us has desires, hopes, and a unique soul journey that makes us feel alive. And when little humans enter the picture, they sure have a way of taking up the energy in the room. Please do not get me wrong; our children are our priority as we are raising them. And I know you’ve heard this from me before and you will hear it again – you cannot be who your children need you to be if you are not able to show up for yourself.
Different Paths, Same Journey
We all come from different walks of life and that means that finding a path home to our own hearts while raising our children will look different, too. The barriers in one parent’s life will look differently from another parent’s. Yet at the end of the day we all know what it feels like to be burned out beyond recognition and what it feels like to be balanced. There are times in life when we do have to push through a difficult situation (with our children or otherwise). But, my darlings, we are never as alone as we think we are.
Trust me, I’ve been there more than I like to admit on difficult days with my kids when I feel the world is on my shoulders. Yet when the stress of the difficult days melts away, I remember that I am not alone. That while getting the resources my children and I need is my responsibility, there are people who want to help. We were never meant to live a life of isolation. No matter what anyone is going through, I know in my heart that helping hands are around the corner. Sometimes the barrier is simply reluctance to ask for help.
Creating New Support at IABA
So, my loves, as you step into the summer with your children, think first what you need in order to gain support. Being on 24/7 for the summer is a non-starter for every parent. At IABA I’m beyond proud that part of the work I get to do is pay it forward to the families we serve. I’ve personally been uplifted through my parenting journey in more ways than I can count. Being able to create something unique for the families we support is one way that I’m able to lean into myself and give my heart what it needs – an extension of love.
If your child is a client of IABA this summer (and beyond!), please know that we have built a program through the support of Illinois Medicaid to create community services for our clients. While our families rely on us for ABA therapy, they can also be faced with the challenges of how to help their neurodiverse child thrive in our social world. This summer we have trained our RBTs in Naperville, Oak Lawn, and Des Plaines as Community Support Workers. Under the direction of our Social Workers we are able to use Medicaid funding to join our clients in the community! We know ABA therapy is important and so is being a kid. Our Community Support Workers are focused on helping our clients access the community while relieving families’ stress. This can look any which way our families need, varying from a 1:1 aide at summer camp to extra hands at swim lessons or just a helper in the home outside of ABA sessions to help our clients engage with their families. We want to empower our parents by building community by, in fact, being in the community.
This service might not be for everyone we serve and that’s okay. My hope is that families at IABA see that we are listening about the support they need outside of therapy. Burnout is real for all parents. Feeling alone is a feeling that none of us enjoy. As you step into summer, first ask your heart what you need, and then, my loves, ask for help wherever you can find it. If it’s with IABA, we are more than happy to serve.
Xoxo,
Jessie Cooper