Two weeks ago, after the overturning of Roe vs. Wade, I wrote to you for the first time in months. I shared with you that over these past two years I had felt as though I’m living in purgatory. That life was going on around me while some very real and hard events surrounded both my personal and professional lives. I have also found gratitude and joy along the way, the light within a dark time in my life that has made it palatable to continue moving forward. It was the light breaking into darkness time and time again that reminded me it is our goodness and humanity that will create the change we all so desperately need.
What kept me frozen was having a front-row seat to see a corrupt system up close for so long. If I am ever able to share my personal experiences many of you would not believe me I am sure. Yet, if you have told me that as women (and individuals) we would lose the right to abortion and that making birth control illegal (in Ohio, where I am) is now on the table I would not have believed you.
There are people in power using their power to obstruct and restrict justice in widespread ways. These people in power have created an ignorance amongst the population to support their wide-reaching attempt to take control of our lives. Insidiously, like a frog boiling, the legal system of our control has planted fear in an attempt to keep us all small and steal our rights.
No. Fucking. Thank you.
Liberty and Justice?
In witnessing what has occurred and is now the reality of millions I say “there is more coming.” The overturning of Roe vs. Wade is the tip of the iceberg, the canary in the coal mine telling us that something is incredibly wrong with our government. As Amanda Doyle says, “The walls of our justice system will need to be rebuilt before we can have any type of roof.” The foundation of our country was liberty, yet the system is run by predominantly white men. Over 200 years later it is clear that this liberty was only designed for them.
It is painful to witness what has occurred in this country, what has been taken away, and the manner in which decisions are made. What I do know to be true is that if fear keeps us small and stuck, bravery can unearth this oppression. I also know quite personally that the fear feels paralyzing when your own safety and freedom are directly at risk. I have been told more times than I would like to admit that I turn into a controlling, crazy, type A bitch when speaking for my own safety and freedom. What I hate to admit is that I stayed in this gaslit narrative far too long and questioned my own behavior and what I was doing wrong. The answer was nothing. The answer is still nothing.
I listened to a We Can Do Hard Things podcast this week that featured Natalie Portman. I loved her before but now I know my girl crush is 1000% justified. Natalie didn’t speak as an actress, she spoke as a woman in a leadership position of her experience inside the industries she is involved in. During the podcast, Natalie reminded me that as women we are all facing prejudices if we dare to speak or lead. Natalie shared her experience that when she experiences gossip in the movie industry that it may be a red flag of an assault that may have occurred. That, if a director is saying a woman is a difficult actress, she listens closely, not to his words but to the warning, which basically says ‘this woman doesn’t put out.’
As women, we must listen to these warnings and speak out against abuse, tyranny, and the restriction of rights. That, if a woman is called a bitch, controlling, or difficult, we immediately think~what could have happened to her?”
Reshaping the Narrative
The gaslighting of our society and the hot and heavy fear breathing down our necks must end. We must stop the insanity of believing that, as women and/or individuals, somehow we are wrong, difficult, and overbearing after we simply speak our minds. While I agree with Amanda Doyle that we have new walls to build, I would like to add we have a few more to knock down as well.
Yes, these wounds are difficult to look at and these wounds tell us where to heal. Just like my once broken body, our country’s wounds tell us as a nation what we must fix.
I started writing this two weeks ago and didn’t know where to start; that it felt like too much. Then I remembered, “The Blueprints of Heaven are in the Hearts of Women.” All we have to do is face the fear, tell it, that it cannot keep us small, and demand our justice and the justice of our children. Side by side, arms linked, we can do this together.